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Lets Talk about Sex

5 November, 2004 9:25 PM

I'm a little worried - it seems that for some reason the word has gotten out that I'm good at talking about Sex.

Let me qualify that - the word seems to have gotten out that if you want someone to speak to your youth group or young adults - that I'm good at talking about Sex.

In my last church we had a four week series on the topic - we called it 'Sex Fest' (the service was called 'Festival' - hence the 'Fest' part). The service was aimed primarily at 14 to 30 year olds and we had a lot of fun with it. In fact some of what we did bordered on irreverent (it got pretty wacky) but the aim of it was to get people talking about a topic that Church often largely ignores - except when its says 'don't do it'.

'Let's talk about sex, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be'

I think churches should take Salt-N-Pepper's advice.

We had a lot of fun, but in the process took a good long look at what our culture says about sex (the truths and lies), what the bible says about it, the realities and pressures that we face with it, some of the health issues etc etc etc

Anyway - since that time I've had calls from a number of people who've heard about it and wanting me to do something similar in their churches/camps/youth groups.

I've got another one in the next week or so and I thought I'd open up the topic for discussion here and ask you if you've seen any creative ways of teaching young people about Sex? Have you seen any good resources? Any ideas or thoughts? Anything goes (well almost). Looking forward to your thoughts and experiences in comments.

Update - here is a starting point that I've already found. It is four MP3s of a record (remember them?) from the 1970's of a Christian educator. They are quite hilarious. Here are the links - its worth the download.

- How Babies are Born
- Girls and Menstruation
- The Problem with Growing Boys
- The Marriage Union



1. a quote from thw new movie "Saved" is "Basically, sex is for populating the world and good christians dont get jiggy with it until they're married. Any questions?"

2. Phil Daughtry's book "the Sacred Life of Us" is great.

3. American Pie 1 and 2 has a couple great quotes, I'll hunt them down, one of course is the "pie scene" and the other is a scene where the main character says something like "I'm sick of sex already and I haven't even had it yet"

thats three ideas quickly...

the other darren » 5 November, 2004 11:01 PM

One of the best resources on sex to use in teaching youth is "Good Sex" by Youth Specialties. It is very real, lays it on the line, sometimes racy, but I feel it's how it needs to be taught, instead of dancing around the subject.
Funny note:
When I was at their core training event this year, the presenter highlighted "Good Sex" as one of their best-selling products. He mentioned that this product affirmed him that "it's okay that it's not great, just good! I'm okay that it's just good!" Half the place didn't know whether or not to laugh, of course my team couldn't get off the floor because they were laughing so hard.

john » 6 November, 2004 3:50 PM

i wonder how many of these resources, like "good sex" will one day be just like these mp3's...

i already use some old youth ministry resources as humoerous content...

the other darren » 6 November, 2004 4:40 PM

hmm i feel kinna outta place here cuz i'm just some 15 yr old girl who randomly visited this site.. but i was on the phone with a non-christian guy frd today.. he sed he wanted to become a christian but he had a few questions, n one of them were "r u allowed to have pre-marital sex".. it was kinna funny, but by the help of God, i managed to help him understand that by having premarital sex with sum1 ur not 100% sure that u'll marry, itz unfair to ur future husband/wife cuz sex is sumthing u'd only want to share with ur one, intimate partner for life... hez reali stubborn by the way, so i was reali happy that God used a simple phone call to clear away a large part of his doubt. :) praise the Lord!

michelle » 7 November, 2004 12:34 AM

Thanks for these man, I'm playing them as a "radio serial" on my radio show.

therapy » 8 November, 2004 3:19 PM

Allan Meyer's stuff from up at Careforce (sorry, but worst name for a church ever!) the Search for Intimacy, is fantastic.

There's a lot of stuff, but its all really good.

Have got copies of the CD's if u wanna borrow em Darren.

Digger » 8 November, 2004 5:00 PM

This has got to be the last frontier for the church both emerging and limnal. Its usually avoided, supressed and ignored (or treated very conservatively). Whatever the resources you find, subjects you cover, I think you/me /whoever must be totally relaxed about what you/we share, have a sense of fun and tread only as carefully as the age group you deal with; ie age appropriatness is a must.

Its a big one where again we have to separate christian culture from where God is at. I say this only because church culture sees God as fairly conservative with respect to what you might say in the open with respect to sex.

Certainly if you are working with young marrieds you can go different places than if you are with unmarried youths.

I think its great you're doing it and it is so underdone!

Garth » 9 November, 2004 10:27 PM

I can also say that Alan Meyer's teaching on this topic is fantastic. My wife and I attended a conference at Careforce a year or two ago and Alan's workshop on sex was good stuff. I think his program is a 6-8 week thing though, but you could condense into one session I guess.

Dan Harper » 11 November, 2004 10:24 AM

Woo hoo, with an approach like this Darren you'll have agnostics like me queuing up for another look!

In seriousness good luck- at the catholic schools I went to they weren't very good at dealing with these topics. I remember being struck by the naivity of most kids at primary school, when I went there from a state school.

Next year in year 8 a number of the girls quickly lost their virginities to older year 9 and 10 guys, and were dropping out, while most of the guys were just baffled by what was going on.

Knolwedge is (em) power (ment).

Martin Pike » 11 November, 2004 4:35 PM

Ow, I appear to have killed that discussion. In case my blunt anecdote left any confusion, I was encouraging your exploration of sexuality issues within a christian context as a very positive thing.

Hmm, I better crawl off and watch sex in the city!

Martin Pike » 15 November, 2004 6:04 PM

I think that this is a great idea... I think that the youth of today really need to earn about sex. but I also think that they need to learn about masturbation and pornography. The effects that it can have on a boys/mans mind is amazing. it can completely pervert them. and once they star they just can't stop. Look at the chip advertisement

"We dare you to stop after having just one"

I think that The enemy uses this so very much... I think that we need to get the youth of today to be more like Daniel and have lined that they will not cross. Because once they are crossed... you can't go back. and it is SO hard to stop. Also... look at 1 Corrinthians 6:12-20 - about Sexual perversion and pre-marital Sex.

I also aim to reach out to youth... and this is a great topic... if you have any ideas for me or if you like my ideas... please E-mail me att get.beefed@gmail.com

Dave » 16 November, 2004 3:50 PM

great topic - should be talked about more in church.

Grant » 17 November, 2004 12:29 PM

Dear Sir / Madam,

Watching your educational Search for intimacy video tapes from a friend, I am now in need of finding out how to obtain the same teaching material here in Florida, USA. Please e_mail me to let me know were I might look for this title or possibly purchase these teachings.

Thank you for your time.

P.s I think the speaker of the tapes was under the name of Alan Meyer.?

B. Durston.

Ben Durston » 9 December, 2004 5:59 AM

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